Thank you for calling Domino’s Pizza
where the food is sub-par
and that is why it’s cheaper.
But since you are a danger-seeker
who is desperate and over-eager
allow me to tell you our menu’s special feature:
Our Cheesy Crusts are delicious,
we prepare them on dirty dishes,
because filth is a main ingredient
at our business.
The head chef goes to the bathroom often
and doesn’t wash his hands after he visits.
Is this order for pick-up or delivery?
One large pizza is all you desire?
I’ll tell you the recipe, since you inquire:
First, we turn off the oven full of fire
because it is not an appliance we require.
We put all the pizza in a microwave
and watch it spin like a tire.
Then, we add some pepperoni and cottage cheese,
two tablespoons of heart disease,
and three cups of clogged arteries.
We are proud to say that our calorie count
is higher than college fees.
Your total is fifteen dollars, please.
If it doesn’t arrive quickly,
we’ll include a much-needed roll of toilet paper –
our treat!
Thank you for choosing Domino’s
where our motto goes:
call another pizza place
because we’re not the pros!
Prompt: Scent
By: Darryl Walker Jr
(C) Copyright 2016-2017
September 16, 2016 at 4:33 pm
Lmfao hahahahahah it’s true man its true
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September 16, 2016 at 4:35 pm
lmao for real! I can’t stand them bro lol
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September 16, 2016 at 4:37 pm
It’s funny because I would say domino’s is a D grade pizza and Pizza Hut would be a C+
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September 16, 2016 at 4:41 pm
That’s about accurate, lol. I think once they become a chain, they lose their touch. For instance, Unos started out a small time pizza spot in Chicago – but then they branched out. The original Unos still has good pizza (they have a different menu), but the other branches are horrible to the 3rd power.
Places with names like “Joey’s Pizzeria” usually get As and Bs from me – because they still put their heart and soul into the pizza – unlike these chains!
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September 16, 2016 at 4:42 pm
I like round table and honestly I live the take and bake papa Murphys because you can bake to your desire
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September 16, 2016 at 4:44 pm
Sounds good. Never heard of them – perhaps that is what makes them good!
The best pizza is a small time spot near me – I love bbq chicken pizza. Makes me wanna treat the chef to a beer lol
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September 16, 2016 at 4:45 pm
Man you ain’t never lie. Unobstructed was terrific man. And BBQ chicken pizza is the best pizza ever. Pizza Hut actually surprised me with their version of BBQ chicken it was B+ worthy considering the circumstances
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September 16, 2016 at 4:49 pm
Lol @ “the circumstances”. I am suspicious of places like Papa John’s because they have Peyton Manning in the commercials. No thanks! lol
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September 16, 2016 at 4:50 pm
I only had them once and it was nasty. Costco? Round Table? Little Caesars? Your grades on them
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September 16, 2016 at 4:53 pm
There aren’t any Costcos near me. I haven’t heard of Round Table. Little Caesars is a D- ..they are no better than those cold pizza strips after-school programs give to kids.
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September 16, 2016 at 4:55 pm
Hahahahaah Prison pizza hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagagagagagag. Here in San Francisco, we have alot of specialty pizzas. Gluten Free, goat cheese, quinoa, all that healthy stuff. In my opinion pizza isn’t supposed to be healthy. You know what you get when u pay for it. It’s like going to mcdonalds and complaining about their salad selections. Hahahaahhah
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September 16, 2016 at 5:00 pm
Lmao @ the homeless giving Little Caesars pizza BACK.
I agree: pizza has to be unhealthy. Its like that episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Will’s friend “Ice-Tray” came from Philadelphia. Uncle Phil tried to give Will a Philly cheesesteak – but it was all extra healthy. And then Will’s friend came and he had an authentic Philly cheesesteak, with the grease bleeding through the bag. lol.
I’ve had organic pizza, and its cool, but always anti climactic.
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September 16, 2016 at 5:12 pm
Lmfao ice tray was Hella funny man. You’ve inspired me to do a top 10 fresh prince episode list hahahahga
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September 16, 2016 at 9:12 pm
Haaaa! ROTFLMAO! This here is hilarious! I’m was laughing in my office as I read this.
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September 16, 2016 at 9:13 pm
I’m / was laughing in my office as I read this
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September 16, 2016 at 10:17 pm
It’s comforting to know the jokes went over well! Thanks for letting me know!
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September 16, 2016 at 10:16 pm
Lmao that’s wassup! Glad I could make you laugh! Domino’s is certainly a punchline lol
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September 16, 2016 at 10:24 pm
All I can say is that you have some serious writing talent. Everything was rolled into it correctly to deliver the desired effect.
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September 16, 2016 at 10:31 pm
Thank you for the positive feedback my man! And I really appreciate your engagement – as a simple “like” can be a bit passive. Grateful beyond words!
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