The mouth of nearly every being on the planet is located an appreciable distance from their anus. Typical floor designs for small apartments (and other houses), however, tend to overlook this fact by placing the bathroom near the kitchen. This spatial arrangement is a form of architectural terrorism that exposes residents and their guests to the most awkward situations.
Imagine you lived in such a place, and were hosting company for dinner. Everyone is sitting at the table laughing and enjoying their meal. But suddenly, one of your guests has an adverse reaction to the jalapeno chili dip. The disagreement between the food and their digestive system is violent, and the only peace treaty offered is a visit to the bathroom. Your guest dashes off and slams the door behind them.
With only a few feet of space and a door serving as a barrier, everyone now has a front row seat to a bowel movement. The disgusting sound effects that include straining and wiping will single-handedly ruin your appetite. Once they are done and open the door, the smell of feces travels into the kitchen, killing any desire for dessert.
Not only is this awkward for people in the kitchen, it is embarrassing for the person in the bathroom. Their self-consciousness is off the charts. They will undoubtedly spend a great deal of time with their pants around their ankles – just waiting for the coast to be clear. Instead of relieving themselves in a free and joyous manner, they torture their intestines trying to be polite.
A rational defense of this layout is that it is cheaper to connect the plumbing systems when they are closer together. But the drive for profit and efficiency overlooks the age-old saying: don’t shit where you eat. This phrase is a principle of civilization – which prides hygiene and health. We do not eat in the bathroom nor defecate in the kitchen – for we would become sick. The uncomfortable proximity between kitchen and bathroom tends toward barbarism and a great deal of prisons today. Just because we cannot afford a bigger home with a more sensible blueprint does not mean we should be subjected to dehumanizing conditions.
Our homes should be organized to mirror the formation of the human organism.