Who are you?
Discussions of identity take the answer to this basic question for granted. The “I” that is invoked by the speaker is typically described as a series of characteristics or attributes. Thus, the person usually says “I am [insert list of adjectives here].”
A hidden and problematic assumption, though, is that the “I” is frozen in time and set in stone. To declare I am … is to presuppose that human existence is stable and unchanging. The problem is: the universe is constantly in motion. Everything from the ocean, to the temperature, to our metabolism fluctuates. Life is not an event, it is a process. Existence is an action – a verb – but human beings define their ‘identities’ as nouns: stagnant, un-moving objects.
Our notion of human identity, then, is incompatible with the nature of the universe. What we call ‘identity’ is a limitation; a self-imposed chain and illusion that prevents us from recognizing our freedom.
Who are you?
There are three temporalities: past, present, and future. We know who we were back then – based on memories, testimonies from other people, documents, etc. What happened in the past becomes our history. It becomes a material fact.
We have an idea of who we want to become – based on our promises and aspirations. We make projections for the future and plan for it with retirement accounts and insurance policies, but it never physically arrives. The future always melts into the present. The future only exists at a distance in our minds – as a phantasm and source of anxiety.
We can speak to who we were in the past, and who we want to become in the future – but who we are in the present cannot be apprehended through language. The universe has found a way to conceal our identity from us in a game of “cosmic hide and seek” (Watts, 1966). The universe is constantly fluctuating, which means that definitions simply do not adhere. By the time a person is done saying I am … the universe moves again and their claim to identity becomes the past. When they try to define themselves again, that claim to identity becomes part of the past, again – ad infinitum. As quick as we can reflect on the present to say I am … it vanishes.
Our identity is a mystery.
Who are you?
When we say I am … we are reflecting on the past. Our claim to identity is an assessment of the archive – a reflection upon a dead, passive object. As long as we are identifying ourselves with the past, we fail to realize that we have the freedom to transcend; to re-invent ourselves at any given moment.
At a basic level, your identity is synonymous with your face. There is wisdom to the fact that, at the level of experience, you have no face. Without the assistance of a mirror or reflective surface, you cannot see your own face. Everyone has a face except for you. The empty space where your face should be is filled when you encounter other beings: people, animals, plants, etc. Every moment, as your attention shifts, you become something different: a person, an animal, a plant, etc (Harding, 2013).
Who are you?
The totality of the universe.
References:
Watts, Alan. 1966. “The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are”
Harding, Douglas. 2013. “On Having No Head”
Zone of Non-being 
May 22, 2017 at 8:51 pm
One could always say, using the present continuous, “I am fluctuating.”
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May 22, 2017 at 9:24 pm
Great point! We need not pin ourselves down. We are variables.
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May 22, 2017 at 9:37 pm
Talking about the past, present and future helps us to visualise ‘time’, but the reality is that there is no such thing. We imagine time as a river that goes from there to here and then on to somewhere else, but the only part of the river that truly does that is the bed in which it flows. The water is the real river, and it’s a continuum. In the same way, our lives are a continuum too, with a past-present-future in every milli-second. Yes, we change, but the change occurs on such an infinitely small scale that our sense of self remains the same. It’s only when we remember the distant past that we can judge just how much we have changed.
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May 22, 2017 at 9:59 pm
I like the river analogy!
Is the sense of self ever stable, though?
I ask because humans have consciousness and consciousness is what it is-not. This means that to be human is to define your self through negation. For example, tall can only be tall because it is not short and vice versa.
Nietzsche said every word is a lie. This means that words are not defined in and of themselves, they are defined in relation to other words.
Who are you? Who is Meeka? There are 7 billion people on earth. Meeka is not Darryl, or Joe, or Suzie, x7billion. So Meeka is not simply Meeka .. Meeka is not 7 billion other people.
So “Meeka” is constantly in flux, which is not “small scale” at all, right? Meeka is infinite.
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May 22, 2017 at 10:51 pm
lmao – oh well done! Objectively, Meeka may not be small scale, but subjectively she is both what she is /not/ and what she remembers herself being one millisecond ago. Also last week and 60 odd years ago.
Think also about how we consciously cling to that sense of self. Change would have to be cataclysmic for Meeka to see herself as someone else, especially if that someone is not someone she would like. 🙂
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May 23, 2017 at 3:44 am
Lol, well stated 😀
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May 23, 2017 at 5:30 am
-grin-
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May 22, 2017 at 10:12 pm
I just.. love this. It seems complex, yet it is simply true.
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May 22, 2017 at 10:43 pm
Hey Kelley! Glad you liked it! I find it liberating to know that identity is a mystery – because we can always become something or someone else 😀
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May 23, 2017 at 11:11 am
True! Why does that statement remind me of the show Alias? Did you ever watch it? It’s unfortunate that so many that actually need to alter their identity, won’t!
I think I have to repost this.
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May 23, 2017 at 11:32 am
Nah, I have never seen or heard of it. What is it about? If you are interested, this line of thought comes out of Eastern philosophy – and a bit of Nietzsche (the idea that identity holds us back, and we are only free when we lack identities because that lack means we can be anything).
And yes! It would be great if you repost this 😀 I am glad you dig this Kelley. This one almost didnt get posted
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May 23, 2017 at 11:36 am
It’s kinda old, the show. Like early 2000s? I don’t know. Jennifer Garner played an undercover agent-solving crime as different character in each episode.
Thanks for the info! And I’m glad it made the cut!
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May 22, 2017 at 11:03 pm
The “totality of the Universe” sounds good. I also realized that I am “older” than I was when I started this sentence. LMBO…well, not exactly. I love reading you. Your writings stimulate me and cause me to get better acquainted with my own take on Life.
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May 23, 2017 at 11:27 am
Hello Ms. Elva!
You are right: we get older every single moment, even if it is only a fraction of a second. We do not feel that is the case, but it is. We only feel older when we reflect on larger spans of time, it seems.
I am glad you like reading my posts. I try to cover different topics, even if they contradict. I enjoy reading your perspectives on them 😀 so thank you!
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May 23, 2017 at 10:23 am
Good job. You’re always deep and moving on different levels. Keep it up. I enjoy your posts.
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May 23, 2017 at 11:38 am
Thank you, John! I appreciate your feedback, it means a lot to me! The comments are everything!
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May 23, 2017 at 8:36 pm
If one assumes that all that all that is “I” exists only in the human construct called time, then one could say , “I am what I was and what I will be.” There is no “present” in “time”, as it is constructed by humans, as I believe you suggested, there is only the word “present” which represents nothing and there is what was and what is to come. Once what is to be, becomes, it is past.
A further obstruction to our perception of what is “the present” is the fact that we only perceive reality with our senses; through electrical impulses which must travel from the point of stimulus to the brain and then be translated into what we perceive as reality. This process takes “time”. So, by the “time” we are aware of the stimuli, the instant of the stimuli has already transpired; it is already the “:long-distant past”, relatively speaking. Thus, we can never perceive “present”.
From a Biblical perspective, God told Moses to tell the people of Israel that his name was “I AM”. He said, “Tell them ‘I AM’ sent you”. A student of the Bible would know also, that God is everywhere and nowhere. They would know that He has always been and will always be. He is “Omnipresent”. So, at least in the Biblical sense, “I am” does not necessarily limit one to existing in the “present”. “I am” implies all existence; both in time and in reality.
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May 24, 2017 at 8:29 am
Hello Brother Ron,
Great perspective! I agree! I like your point that “we only perceive reality with our senses; through electrical impulses which must travel […] This process takes ‘time […] thus, we can never perceive the ‘present’.”
I am sure you are familiar with this: the phenomenon of taking selfies. I do not think it is simply a narcissistic culture of tech-obsessed people. I think it also stems from people realizing that they cannot capture the present – so they take snap photographs and videos of their experiences in an effort to capture it. But of course, by the time they look at the photos/videos of the present, it becomes the past.
There is a universal Self that seems to evade our every grasp – it is one step ahead of us. Whenever we build telescopes to look into outer space, we find out that the universe is expanding! A constant game of hide and seek. This is what makes life worth living … and arguably frightening at the same time, lol. It is a constant reminder that we are not in control.
There is a lot here. I dig your interpretation of the “I Am” as it relates to the Bible and God. I agree that time is a human construct, and since God is “omnipresent”, He transcends time altogether. To add on to what you said:
In the Garden of Eden, humans were One with God – living in paradise. There was no time. Humans were naked and lacked self-consciousness. But after The Fall, the relationship between humans and God was ruptured because of original sin. Humans acquired self-consciousness, thus separating them. Death became the punishment. At this moment, time was created. Time is a countdown toward death; time is the distance between life and death; a consequence of the ruptured relationship between God and Humanity. The sacrifice/resurrection of Christ does not necessarily abolish time or death on Earth (i.e. Matthew 24:44 says “be ready” – implying time still exists), but it allows humans to be in paradise again after they physically expire.
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May 24, 2017 at 9:59 am
Yeah, what you said. ☺
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May 24, 2017 at 10:47 am
Seriously tho, well stated. I like the selfie theory. I’ve found that with the insidious onset of my advancing years, selfies and photos in general BECOME memory. In fact, if not for photos, videos, etc., we would have no memory of some instances in time. In essence, the pic IS the memory because, what we accept as memory of an event, is really memory of a photo of the event.
As for the elusory nature of “self”, I believe that “knowing” who “I” am IS knowable, but it requires freeing one’s conciousness from the self-imposed and society imposed shackles that keep us constrained within our circumscribed perception of reality.
When/if one is able to a achieve such a state of conciousness, one realizes that there is no self, but rather, a collective conciousness. That is the “True” “I Am”. This state is also Biblically suggested. Jesus spoke of it as “The Kingdom of God” or “The Kingdom of Heaven”. But it’s not a place, as so many “Christians” believe. I often tell people to”read the red”. What I’m referring to is the practice of some publishers to print the actual words of Jesus in red. What I’m suggesting, for a clearer understanding of what Jesus was saying, just for a moment, focus only on His words, use your own judgement.
He said, “My Kingdom is not of this earth”, meaning, I think, the ultimate level of conciousness cannot be described nor viewed using “language” or worldly references.
This has to be true because of what we know of Jesus. No one argues His wisdom nor his great teaching ability. With those qualities of Jesus being stipulated, one can now ask: Why wouldn’t a teacher of such ability and wisdom, not just say to His decidedly simpler disciples, “‘Look there! There is the “Kingdom”! “‘or “The ‘Kingdom’ is here or over there, or in there, or under there!”‘
He didn’t because, it could not be done in a way that they could understand.
I don’t mean to wax religiously and in a sense, I’m not. Jesus was a philospher. Perhaps one of the greatest, among other things.
He even suggested that MOST if His disciples didn’t completely understand ALL of His teachings.
The bottom line: I believe that knowing who we are is not impossible, just difficult.
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May 25, 2017 at 1:03 pm
Brother Ron – letting these words marinate for a bit before responding. Great reply! I agree and do not think there is anything to add. Language, in general, is a barrier to consciousness. Silence is closer to the truth than anything we could put into writing. I will likely return with questions for you.
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May 25, 2017 at 1:35 pm
I agree that “knowing who we are is not impossible, just difficult”. Just to elaborate more on what I meant about the turn away from language toward silence. Language is full of fractures: nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. As long as we think the world is reducible to words, the universe will be divided into arbitrary categories.
But in silence we are unified. This is why so many religions involve meditation. This is why Christianity involves moments of reflection and prayer.
As far as who we “are”: I always like to draw attention to the fact that we do not control the beating of our hearts. We do not control the circulation of our blood, or the blinking of our eyes, etc. Who controls that??! What controls that?! We identify ourselves with our independent thought processes (our brains) which, in the grand scheme, compose a very small percentage of our being. We leave out the fact that most of our vital signs are controlled externally. The same energy that beats my heart is the same energy that beats 7 billion other hearts on this planet. The same energy that grows my hair is the same energy that grows the trees. The same energy that circulates my blood is the same energy that makes the waves in the ocean ebb and flow. Who am I? Who are you? Who are we? We are the deep down universal Self, the “It”… whatever “It” is that we are chasing, we are THAT already – but we pretend we are not. We wear a mask. Every person is a mask. The word “persona” means mask – and rightfully so. Underneath my persona, is fundamental energy that everyone shares – – something like the “collective consciousness” you spoke of.
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May 26, 2017 at 5:16 pm
Yes, I see your point (s). As my Pastor would say, “You made it plain”.
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May 24, 2017 at 8:23 pm
So I had to come back and comment further. I am reminded of your posts from time to time, and I have to chuckle.
For instance, I was an old Ronald Coleman movie last night. He was an actor who was asked to play the role of “Othello”. You’re a little young so I will tall you Ronald Coleman was a white man. The character he played was a brilliant actor. He literally became the person he was playing. Which was not a good thing because Othello kills Desdemona in the last scene.
Before he starts rehearsing for his role, his ex-wife asks him about the part saying “who are you?” (as in what role are you playing?). And he says “who am I? I’m Othello, I’m Iago, I’m Dan or I am whoever the part calls for.” I don’t know who I am anymore.
He loves Othello. Of course he winds up “becoming” Othello. The dark makeup, the dramatic speechmaking, the jealous Othello full of rage, and he kills the actress (for real) who plays Desdemona. And he killed another lady that picked him up in a diner because he became angry even when he was not in costume. And by now he was hearing voices.
It drove him crazy not know who he was.
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May 25, 2017 at 9:36 am
Well, I am glad that my posts come to mind in contexts beyond the computer screen. Interesting connection! I know very little of Shakespeare – but what you are referencing brings to mind the ONE quote I know from him, which I will also butcher: “the world is a stage, and we are just actors.” What I gather from that is: we all play several roles in our lives, all of them are temporary.
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